Heath and I are generating new ways to expand our capacity to connect, appreciate and trust each other and ourselves. We are experiencing the beauty and freedom that comes from making conscious agreements. Agreements regarding our relationship, our business, our money and our home. The last time we made conscious agreements with each other was when we got married and said our vows 14 years ago. We are inspired by the work of Gay and Katie Hendricks and their new book Conscious Loving Ever After. They make a distinction between conscious agreements and conscious commitments.
Agreements are made between people, such as “I agree to meet you at a scheduled time for a session.” Commitments are made between me and the universe, like “I commit to seeing the world as a friendly place to thrive in” or “I am lucky and experience my good fortune daily.”
Oftentimes, agreements and commitments are made unconsciously, and are the most likely to be broken. Unconscious agreements may be made without much consideration, or we say yes when we mean no. Unconscious agreements may have been created only on one side of the relationship equation, maybe even silently or assumed. Some agreements may have been inherited from our families and we never questioned them.
We have found making and keeping conscious agreements is a way to ignite trust. For me, conscious agreements also generate immense clarity. Agreements are a way to take the guessing and the assuming out of relationships. And writing my commitments is a way for me to see more clearly what is I want to create. Suddenly, I am in full cooperation and collaboration with the world around me and those who love and support me.
As I write this I feel my breath, and the space between my shoulder blades widen.
I also notice that as I get clear with Heath, I get more clear about what I want.
“Except for this point, this still point
there would be no dance,
and there is only the dance.”
Here are some examples of the agreements we are making with each other, and ourselves.
I agree to lead with appreciations; energetically, verbally, and physically.
I agree to enjoying plenty of money to do everything we need, want and love to do.
I agree to revealing and truth telling versus withholding.
I agree to create a safe container for communicating; using conscious listening, free from blame talk.
I agree to follow my body intelligence, follow my emotions to completion and find nourishing ways to care for myself.
I agree to be present with you when we are sharing space and when I can’t be present, I agree to communicate with you as to why.
I agree to spiritual, emotional, and physical devotion between you and I, conducting myself with others at all times as if you are there with me.
Notice how you feel as you read and say out loud the agreement statements. Does it make you smile, tense up, twitch or glow? Connect how you feel with the agreements you want to create. Choose to make agreements that feel good!! Wait for your full body “Yes” to emerge and just say “No” to compromise!
And now I’m wondering if you are willing to create one or two or maybe even ten conscious agreements and commitments that align with who you are now and what you want to create?
Coming Soon: More on Commitments
“The world will fully offer itself to you, to be unmasked, it has no choice.
It will roll in ecstasy at your feet” ~ Franz Kafka